You Can’t Force Relationships

In the last six months, two people very close to me decided to end their relationship with me. The decision was unilateral on their part, fueled by circumstances that each person built up, and I was not given a chance to talk. It was their decision, period, and I had to accept it whether I liked it or not. When I say these two people were very close to me, I mean it; they were integral to my life. They were a part of me, and now they’re not. And there is nothing I can do about it because you can’t force people to be in a relationship they do not want to be in.

This isn’t news, this isn’t a revelation, this is me reminding myself that I can only be responsible for my actions and decisions. If other people decide that their ties to me aren’t worth their time and effort, nothing I say or do can change that because they have already made up their mind.

The separation process didn’t come out of the blue; each person had already been growing more distant with each passing day, I just didn’t see it. By the time I noticed, I was being served with the metaphorical dissolution of relationship papers, and they weren’t even interested in whether I signed or not.

I’m honestly okay with these events, even though I miss these two people. When I wrote 10 Things I’ve Learned As A Person (So Far), I alluded to this situation (item #4) and I stand by that: let them go and move on, even if it hurts like hell. Trying to keep people who don’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore around will only result in pain and suffering—your pain and suffering, not theirs.

As I said, there’s nothing new here, I just needed to come to terms with this and make my peace, and now I’m done.


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