Today, as I rejoined the world after being offline for two days in celebration of the holiday of Shavuot, I had the following email waiting for me in my Inbox:
from D. Loffredo
to Daniel M. Perez
date Wed, Jun 8, 2011 at 6:04 PM
subject FIU Generic BSN Program
June 8, 2011
Dear Daniel Perez:
I regret to inform you that you were not accepted to the FIU College of Nursing and Health Sciences Bachelor of Science in Nursing Program for Fall 2011. I truly applaud you on your choice of the nursing profession and wish you all the best in your future career endeavors.
If you choose to reapply to our program, the next application cycle will be for admission to Fall 2012. On behalf of the College of Nursing & Health Sciences faculty and staff, I sincerely thank you for your interest in our program.
D. Loffredo, RN-BC, MSN
Director, Admission and Student Services
College of Nursing and Health Sciences
I had to read it twice before it sunk in: I didn’t make it into the BSN program at FIU.
I won’t lie, I’m crushed.
I have been working for this for the past year and a half, pushing myself to learn, to excel in new academic areas, dealing with a whole new language, curriculum, mentality, all because I know that this is what I need to do now, become a nurse. This email felt like a sledgehammer to the gut.
I will be honest, I am crushed.
I have little desire to finish the class I am taking (Professional Nursing Concepts & Issues), a class that while interesting, is only necessary for the FIU BSN requirements. I have little desire to do the project that I have to present in front of the class next week, to take the final the week after that. This is all the sadness talking, I know this, but that’s what I feel now.
But that’s just now.
While today I am allowing myself to feel bad, to feel down, to feel crushed over this rejection, that’s just today. Tomorrow I’m putting all that in a box as a memento and moving ahead. This is only a speedbump, nothing more.
I express myself via writing; I work through things via the written word, organize thoughts via sentences, fight my demons with pens and keyboards. It is why out of this rejection I have chosen to launch this new blog, The Literary Nurse. This is me working through the process of going from a Humanities-trained English graduate to a Science-retrained Nurse. This is me moving this journey to the uttermost forefront, to a place where it stands king-like over my thoughts. This is where I geek out about becoming a nurse.
I have chosen to import all the relevant posts about this journey that were on my personal blog so that the story is complete over here. Likewise, I am exporting all new posts from this site to my personal one for the sake of archival continuity.
This is only a speedbump, and speedbumps are there to slow you down so you pay attention to your surroundings before continuing. That’s what I’m doing now. And then I’ll be on my way again.
I will be a Nurse.