Getting Back to “Normal”

It’s been 18 days since Mom passed away and little over a week since I came back home to Miami. I’ve put off blogging on any of my various blogs because, well, just because. The only thing I’ve done is be on Twitter and do some stuff for Highmoon Games, mostly so I could keep busy and thus not think. It’s only been partially successful.

I wanted my next post after the announcement of Mom’s passing to be an eulogy, perhaps the one I wasn’t able to fully articulate at the burial (I am a writer, not an orator), but even though I’ve composed parts of it in my head, I can’t bring myself to write it, not yet. Heck, I haven’t even written in my pen-on-paper journal for the same reason.

That said, I need to start working towards establishing a sense of daily life, of normalcy, again. I’m not done healing, I don’t know when, or if, I will, but life doesn’t stop because of that, and Mom would have been the first to tell me to start taking things one step at a time. Engaging with people via email, Facebook and Twitter was the first step; working on Highmoon Games was the second step; this is the next.

I’m reopening my blog. There’s things going on that I’d like to talk about, things I’d like to share. Some may even be frivolous. My fear was that a cycling/gaming/travel/etc. post right after the one from August 8 would make it all seem trivial (and understand, this is my own insecurity talking). I guess that’s one reason why I’m writing this one, as a buffer zone.

I may yet write the eulogy for Mom and post it when I’m finally able.

Thanks to every single person that is around me to hold my hand if/when I falter. Especially my wife, because I can’t imagine going through this without her.

Ready for the next step.

2 comments

  1. I think anyone who has gone through a loss will know that sometimes the first step to getting back into life is to just do something trivial or fun. You need to remember that you are still in this life.

    You will be grieving for some time, maybe in some part fir the rest of your life. But life does go on, with or without your participation in it. So remember and mourn your dear mother, but take small steps like this.

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  2. Yup, that’s what I’m trying to do. I wish we could also jump on a plane to Seattle for some much needed R&R, but that will have to wait for now.

    Thanks, Patricia. 🙂

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