Looking For A Home For My Accent

There’s a meme going around, a test to find where is your (English) accent from. Everyone I’ve seen that’s posted has said “right on,” so I was like, sure, I’ll take it. So I did. And I think I broke it.

What American accent do you have?
Created by Xavier on Memegen.net

You’re probably from somewhere near New York City, possibly north Jersey, or Connecticut or Rhode Island. If you are from New York City you may be one of the types who people never believe when you say you’re from New York.

Southern. Love it or hate it, your accent says you’re probably from somewhere south of the Ohio River.

Mid-Atlantic. This is what everyone calls a Philadelphia accent although it’s also the accent of south Jersey, Baltimore, and Wilmington. Well, everyone that lives near there, that is. Outsiders can tell you talk differently from them even though they can’t tell what your accent is.

Take this quiz now – it’s easy!
We’re going to start with "cot" and "caught." When you say those words do they sound the same or different?
Same, no wait I mean different, maybe, a little bit different…

Aren’t you supposed to get only one result? Nope, I got three. Which pretty much invalidates the whole test. I mean, according to this I have an Eastern Seaboard accent.

Which really just proves that I don’t have an accent, or rather, that I do have an accent (which I most certainly do) but it’s not based on my place of origin, but rather on the fact that English is a learned language for me and I have picked up the pronunciation of various words from very diverse places (I even pronounce some words in the British fashion, sans the cool, you know, accent).

Then again the same test said that my 1st-gen Cuban-American Florida-born wife had a Western accent, so go figure.